MARY & MARTHA

Facing Death & Grief – John 11 1-44                             

“In this passage we will see how Jesus related to Mary and Martha in their grief, experienced their sorrow as well as his own, comforted them and demonstrated His power over death, to the glory of God.” 

For any of us who have gone through the loss of a husband, parent or close friend, looking at this story may bring a fresh sense of your loss and even tears.   In this life we will all face losses of various kinds.

These two realities in life are hard and emotional.  A glance at their lives and how they were affected brings us a closer look at Jesus.  We know He is God’s Son, we know He was fully God and fully human.   But this episode at a tomb brought to light how “fully human” Jesus was, and to me, was a precious look at a transparent Savior. 

We understand from the Scriptures of His many visits and interactions with Mary, Martha and Lazarus.   They were “friends…close friends.”   Jesus spent many a time with them in their home.  He knew all about each of them.  These three had seen and experienced Jesus’ power over many areas of other peoples’ lives.

We know about “busy Martha and “contemplative Mary” and now we learn of Lazarus, their brother who had died.  

Apparently Lazarus had been sick and wasn’t getting better.  No doubt Jesus knew about his sickness.    In that He had been travelling with His disciples, they must have wondered why He didn’t rush back to this family of friends who He was so close with.   After all, Lazarus was sick….and Jesus knew that, but He still didn’t pursue the journey back to their home.

There’s a hidden gem here…let’s pause before moving along through these passages.  Scripture indicates Jesus waited another two days after hearing of his friend’s death.  

To pause for some thought here, Jesus was always on “mission with His Father.”  He was travelling according to the Father’s will and the Father’s time table of events.  He was never “late” according to the Father’s will and purpose.  

His ministry and interaction with others was a continual planned agenda by God the Father.   Even when He turned the water into wine, at a wedding feast, per the inquiry of his own mother, he waited until the “appropriate moment.”

This tells us so much about His life and effectiveness because He worked in unison with the Father, even at this critical moment in the lives of His friends.

This brings me to what I enjoy referring to as a “compass thought.”   A thought that changes our attitude about something or a direction that needs a turn-around in our minds.

Compass thought:   Oh to want our calendar of plans, desires and activities to correspond alongside with His plans and His timetable.

Jesus never worked contrary to God’s agenda of mission.  For His disciples (and for us too) it would be so human to wonder why He didn’t rush away to Lazarus’ side.  His delay had a specific purpose.

Haven’t most of us who were waiting on the Lord for some response, wondered the same as these men and Mary and Martha too, while we’re at it.  We can be tempted to think He doesn’t care or that He’s not answering in the manner in which we’re expecting. 

Two important ingredients here:  TIMING & PURPOSE

His ways and timing are beyond what we can understand sometimes.  But in this instance, He wanted to display the power and glory of God, and only God knew how best to bring this to pass….and it was to wait!   Wait until it seems humanly too late.  He waited some days after Lazarus was dead before He left for Bethany.

If Jesus had been there while Lazarus was alive, He may have just healed him right then and there and not let him die.  But in this case, again, following the agenda of His Father, that wouldn’t have given Him the opportunity to show these two women and His disciples and others who were grieving, that He had the power over death.

The events and their timing was going to glorify God.  It was an opportunity for them to believe in Jesus and His power over death, their greatest enemy. 

Doesn’t that sculpt a truth in us that our situations, problems and challenges, when given to Him, give us the same opportunity….to see Him at work in our individual lives?   We can talk about our faith….but it’s in the challenges that bring our faith to the surface.   Truth is believed in our “heads” and circumstances where Jesus is working brings our faith into “reality….the reality of our day-to-day living.”   It becomes alive when we see in our own lives…living and active.

There’s nothing more thrilling and contagious when we see Him live out His purposes in our lives.  All of this brings a continued building of “intimacy with Jesus.”  When we believe and experience Him in our lives, we can’t keep quiet about it.  This builds and nourishes faith into others.

Compass thought:  Don’t we want to live our lives, not as a thermometer, registering all that’s going on around us; but rather as thermostats….elevating the climate of faith and trust.

Back to the scene at Bethany.  Lazarus had been in the tomb four days.  Martha was waiting for Jesus to show up, and when He did, she had questions.   We can almost hear her, with folded hands and taping of the foot, “why didn’t you come sooner?   You could have saved his life.  Maybe even now, you could do something as she knew God would grant His request.  

Jesus shares with her that He will rise again.  She believed that, but she figured that would only happen when all believers would rise.  Then Jesus reminds her of who He is…the resurrection and the life.  Those who believe in Him, even though they die like everyone else, will live again.  They are given eternal life for believing in me and will never perish.  “Do you believe this, Martha?”  

She believed that her brother would rise from the dead, but she didn’t expect it to happen right then.  But because of His delay in arrival, she and her sister and others were about to see for themselves that very hour that their belief in Him is a

“Done deal….because of who He is.”

We can identify somewhat with how she must have felt.  Yes, in her head, she believed it, but soon she would see it right before her eyes….in her life experience.  But nonetheless, He wanted to comfort her hurting heart with words about Who He was and the Scripture.

After this encounter with Jesus, she runs to the house where Mary was, with other mourners, and tells her Jesus has come.   They run to the tomb and Mary bows reverently before Him with the same comment.  “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”    

As they came to the tomb Mary began weeping along with many others.  When Jesus saw this He was “deeply moved in His spirit and troubled.

The fact that Jesus knew what was going to happen in a few minutes, that He would be calling Lazarus back to life, never diminished the fact that He agonized and cried with Mary, Martha and others who were there.  

Here is a beautifully touching moment where we see God’s humanity coming to light for all to see.   He was agonizing and hurting and crying “with them.”   He saw and felt their pain and He expressed, out loud, His grief and compassion with them.

When I was with my dear Mother when she died, it felt as though my heart just collapsed in grief.  Even though she went to be with the Lord (after praying for her for 38 years to receive Christ…she responded to him 3 months before this time); I was left here still loving, grieving and agonizing over her loss.  

I don’t know when or how you’ve hurt, but I love the fact that Jesus knows and feels each amount of our pain and loss.  Our grief indicates how much we loved someone.   Here we see Jesus grieving with the sisters and friends…demonstrating in a real, tangible way, that He loves and cares for us.  He aches that we ache over loss.

For Him to respond this way brings alive His love, compassion and care of us in our grieving.   To even imagine His grief and tears with us should flood our hearts with gratitude.  He knows and cares about our every tear….even tears we hold inside, that no one sees, He knows.

One of my favorite songs is called “He Knows My Name”.   Some of the lyrics are:

He knows my name. 

He knows my every thought. 

He sees each tear that falls;

And hears me when I call. 

One aspect that I never grasped before was that Jesus comforted Martha and Mary individually, and differently in each case.   He knew the heart and pain of them both and was tenderly bringing truth and comfort in unique ways to each heart.

This is how He tenderly works in lives, uniquely and individually.  How compassionate and personable He was with these sisters, and with each of us.

What a tender, compassionate and caring Savior we have!

When we hurt, He hurts.   He cares…. after everyone goes home from a memorial service.  He continually holds and heals our heart.

Shoe-Leather Living:   I felt compelled to share an idea here.  It’s an “outreach ministry” of a very “tender nature.”   When one of our close friends or loved one experiences a loss of their loved one, at first they are surrounded by supportive friends.   But after the service and a few weeks go by, people seem to just go on with their lives.  

From experience, this is when they need another supportive and caring person.    A person like this can be “Jesus…with skin on” to your hurting friend.  No words…just our presence and calls or cards.

Might I suggest that we call them several times a week to check in with them, asking how they’re doing.  Commit to taking them out for a dinner one night, or even take them out for coffee or a lunch or dinner on a regular basis to help them sort through their feelings with a “listening ear.”   

It will give them something and someone to look forward to being with.   If they aren’t up to company, just a call might do.

Allowing them to share over and over and over their feelings, fears, thoughts and grief.   Sharing with another gives “expression to inner grief” and brings much healing.

Both sisters knew He was their life and resurrection, but not everyone present believed.   Here’s just part of the glory of God … People believing.

Verse 45 indicates that “Many of the people who were with Mary believed in Jesus when they saw this happen.”