JUST CHECKING IN …… TO SAY HELLO

One of my greatest joys was being a care-giver for my precious Mom.   After I married my husband and I moved to Canada.   It was never my privilege of living in close proximity to my parents.  We were always 2,000 plus miles away.  Due to my husband’s travel over the years, he accrued many air miles which came in handy when I would make trips back to Ohio to visit my parents.   I loved visiting and being of help to them.

Years later, I experienced a difficult and emotional season after my Dad suffered a severe stroke.  Eleven days later, he moved to heaven; and Mom began the journey of living on her own.   This was her wish at the time; but then two years later she began having serious health challenges.  It was at this time we invited her to come and live with us.  What a joy and privilege that was for us, and she was happy and relieved that she wouldn’t need to live alone.

God used my dear Mom as an example to me about loving others in “practical ways.”   Over the years I observed her daily routine of phoning her own mother just to check in on her.   There was a time when we lived overseas and those daily calls weren’t possible for her, but she wrote her mother once a week, without fail.    In fact for about 31 years, my Mother wrote me a letter once a week, without fail….just to say hello “in writing.”  

Let me insert here that I enjoy using email like most people; but to be very honest, I miss “real mail.”  You know, the envelopes that appear in your personal mail box with a “handwritten note” tucked inside.   Oh, let’s introduce that back into the marketplace and written on our personal agenda. 

My growing up years included many “moving adjustments.”   Dad was in the service and we moved every two years or so.  After my Dad’s retirement, our family settled in one place and they soon began to meet and enjoy longer-lasting neighbors.  My Mom always enjoyed baking and sharing her homemade goodies with a variety of her friends on her street.

She was a proficient in baker and instituted a routine of always sharing her baked good with the garbage collector (lovingly referred to as their personal Sanitation Engineer).   Each week, my folks would wait at their front window until his truck made his turn around to their corner.  This trusted man would bring in their garbage cans after they were emptied, and place them next to the garage.   His next turn would be to head to their front door to receive a small package of “baked goodies,” hand-prepared by my Mom.

My Mom’s baking skills kept expanding.  When my Father stopped driving his car, a neighbor friend who lived only a short distance away would come over almost every morning to transport Dad to their local grocery where the two of them would parade up and down the supermarket aisles.   They memorized most of the grocery prices as a result of their frequent travel trips throughout the stores.

This lovely neighbor became a wonderful friend over the years.  His wife had passed away, and he so felt lost for a long time, but he continued to rendezvous with my Dad and make the daily trips to the grocery, or post office, or wherever either of them needed to make an errand-journey.

I hadn’t noticed it at first, but whenever I would go to visit I observed that every morning my Mother would phone this man.   He lived just a 3 minute drive from my parents’ home, but my Mom would phone this man every single morning “just to say hello” and see how he was doing.    Whenever he’d come by in the car, my Dad would be sent out with a homemade treat for him and then off they would head for an excursion to a local supermarket.

This went on for over fifteen years.  You know in life, I think more is “caught…than taught.”   Her daily example of this “practical love” was incredible.    It all began by observing her call to this man.   Her conversations weren’t long, perhaps only 5 minutes or less.   But when I asked why she did that, she responded by saying, “I just wanted to check up on him because he was alone.”

God used “her pattern of loving” to help me catch a glimpse of God’s heart for others, especially those who are alone, or are going through a difficult time.   We’ve all been there, or we will walk that path one day.

Years later when she came to live with us, due to health issues, most all of my time in many ways was caring for her needs.   Due to my husband’s job, he was required to be away from home Monday through Thursdays, so in my care-giving role, I was alone.

Even though my Mom was now living in our home which was over 2,000 miles from her neighbor friend, she continued to phone him daily.    Again, her life was speaking volumes on how to look out from ‘your life’ into the ‘life of another.’

The Lord was about to introduce me to a “quiet ministry” to others.   I refer to it as “Care Calling!”   It’s not a well-known or advertised ministry, but I know from experience the emotional oxygen and encouragement that was infused within me when I would receive a caring call when I was alone in caring for my Mom.  

The Lord brought two lovely women into my life to help me with my needs.  Bless them both.  I am so grateful for their practical, and especially their emotional support.   These two women would either call or come over every week just for a visit.

Being alone so much, I came to realize the value of a phone call. 

When my dear Mom moved to heaven my “care calling clientele” emerged.  I took up the task and began to phone this neighbor friend of both of my parents whom she had phoned daily for years.   Once I started, I couldn’t stop.    He shared with me many times how he looked forward to those morning or evening calls.  

Often it is only if you’ve experienced what it means to give continued care to someone you love, that you can understand the emotional pain, separation, and underlying stress and concern in this loving journey of care.   You want to care for them because of your immense love for them.  In some cases a care-giver is seldom able to leave home, because of the responsibility, care and concern for their loved one.

My husband and I had been friends with a lovely man for over twenty years; but it was only when he began his care-giver role of his wife, did our daily call routine emerge.  Our hearts began to knit more closely together as we shared his daily journey through our phone calls.   Sometimes I would phone in the morning, or in the evening, and we’d talk about what we prepared for dinner or lunch and discuss the happenings of our day….the good, the bad and the hard things.

We both agreed that it was like a life-line of support for one another.   These daily calls went on for years.   But the day came when he became ill and he was placed in Hospice Care.   He was not a believer all those years, but I would gently share my faith.   I am convinced that it’s our “life of loving them” and “prayer” that opens the door to share our faith with others.   It’s much easier to talk about the gospel, than to “be the gospel.”    But when our lips and life are somewhat parallel, the Lord opens many doors of opportunity.

I’ll need to wait until the Lord calls me home to see the reality of all that went on in that last conversation.   To my knowledge, I was his only friend that knew Jesus Christ, and I introduced him to His new-found Savior.

There will always be “goodbye” days, and they are so hard.  This new goodbye would be especially difficult because he was the friend who was the care-giver for his wife.   He had cancer and was in the hospital and not doing well.  I phoned the hospital for my daily “hellos” to him. 

It was unknown at the time I phoned, but this last call would be on his last day on earth.   His daughter answered the phone and    I requested to speak to him.   He was unable to return any words to me, but I shared with Him that this was indeed a good time to surrender his life to Christ. 

I prayed for him on the phone and his daughter said he nodded his head in agreement.   I had shared gently, cautiously and lovingly about our need for a Savior for a good number of years, and He knew that my husband and I both loved him and was concerned for his soul.  

Just two weeks prior to his being hospitalized, my husband was able to share with him how the Lord, in answer to prayer, had spared his life….waiting for him to respond to God’s call on his life, and wanting to save him and bring him into His presence.

There’s a lovely verse in the Scriptures where it says that “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Matthew 6:21

When these two “telephone friendships” ended, my heart felt a tremendous void.   Our conversations seldom lasted more than five or ten minutes at the most; but the personal and emotional void was ever present.

I feel there have been so many times when the Lord was sharing His heart with me about others, but I missed it.    I usually came up with the idea that I had to do BIG THINGS for God.  But God isn’t looking for the big things; He yearns that we tune in to His heartbeat for people in the LITTLE THINGS….that can be HUGE in another person’s arena of life.

Soon God was about to introduce me to His next significant Care Client.   This was a precious woman who used to team up with me and some other lovely friends in hosting a weekly Bible Study.   My friend felt it was an honor to make tea and coffee every week for the ladies.  Her face and heart seemed to glow as she prepared the liquid refreshment every week for the ladies attending the study.

Some weeks earlier I had learned of the “home-going” of her husband of over fifty years.    The Lord planted within me the desire to begin phoning her every morning or evening.   You can just imagine the “rest of the story.”    We spoke every day for over a two year period.

Yes, again the pain of the loss of another daily friend began to emerge.    Each of these people were my TREASURES!  They still are.

I feel like a very rich person…..because God has continued to bring a good number of people along my path to interact with day-by-day, until He calls them home.

It’s not a popular ministry, but it’s a “quiet and powerful ministry” to purposely involve myself in their lives, their hurts, their prayer concerns, their joys and their very personal fears.

There was a wonderful book I read after my Mom ‘went Home’ to be with Jesus that gave voice to my emotions within.   I recommend it highly.   It’s called, “May I Walk You Home.”   The author is Melody Rossi.

We all need others to hold us, talk with us, love us, listen to us, pray with us…….people that God could use to walk others Home!

May I suggest that you talk with God and inquire from Him who He might want to place on your “care calling” heart.   Just a three minute call every day, or even just a couple times a week to phone and just “check in to say hello.”   You’ll never know until eternity how critical your calls will be.

Yes, you can phone me anytime!