WHEN GOD SAYS NO

“The greatest crisis we ever face is the surrender of our will.”

Our world’s system is very “self-centered.”   It’s a “me-first, I deserve it” attitude that permeates many a heart.   We come into this world and oft times, especially as a child, we envision ourselves as the center of attention and center of our world.

As we become older, the thirst for “it’s all about me” can escalate if our nature hasn’t been changed by God through a Divine rebirth.   When God comes into a life by His Holy Spirit, He places His nature within us and the radical transformation, like a caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly, the process from a chrysalis process emerges.  

This change is brought about by the power and presence of God within our lives.   The Bible tells us that the Savior of the world was divinely placed within the Virgin Mary’s womb, an embryo of God Who was becoming a human being.   He came to show us Who God the Father is, and to show us how much God loves each of us.  His primary assignment from the Father was to redeem a lost world.   Someone had to pay the “death penalty” that each of us deserve because of our sins against a Holy God.    

Our sin nature came with us, right out of the womb.    His earthly birth was in Bethlehem.  The beautiful truth is that He wants His presence and life to live within each person.  We’re the desired “earthly Bethlehem of His life.”

I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior many years ago and it was the best and most powerful decision I’ve ever made.   I had a peace and inner joy that I had never had, and an assurance of moving into His presence the moment my earthly life ends; for at that moment I will really begin to live…..and live forever with my Creator.

When this “adoption transaction” transpires between our heart’s decision and God’s drawing us into a relationship with Him, something magnificent takes place.    God places within us a brand new nature (His nature), with new thoughts, new attitudes, and new and better desires.   

We are the most surprised people when we learn that our lives are beginning to take on a new dimension.   It’s not automatic because we need to yield and participate in God’s renewing of our minds, hearts and behavior.  As a person reads the Bible and begins to actively apply it’s truths to their lives, a new chrysalis of activity emerges.   Things we used to enjoy and found fun, no longer hold our interest.  

Even the “desires of our heart” can become tested, tried and transformed as well.    I’ve found that yielding our will to God can involve an agonizing process.   God loves us beyond our comprehension, and His mercy and tenderness are incredible; but the Scripture tells us that “His ways are not like ours.”  

Isaiah 55:8  “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.”

Proverbs 19:21  “There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand.”

Proverbs 16:9  “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”

Proverbs 20:24  “A man’s steps are of the Lord; how then can a man understand his own way?”

These verses changed my life and continue to give me a fresh perspective of how God works in our lives and shapes our mindset with desires that will bring glory and honor to Him.  He is so worthy of our love and trust because He always has our best in mind.   I say that gently, because what is good for us (like medicine when we’re ill) doesn’t always feel good as we apply it, but it brings wonderful results.

This story is a story of both my husband and my heart’s desire to have children of our own. 

As I grew in my knowledge about the Lord through reading and applying His Word and ways into my life, and as I journeyed with the Lord through a number of years, I came to accept and realize how much He cared about the details of my life.  He loved to be a part of all of my activities, and decisions as they played out in the circumstances of my walk.

After about five years, a deep yearning for children began to formulate in my heart.  The passion was building to begin a family of our own.  I was adopted and longed to experience having children.

At this point in our married life, I began to struggle.  The struggle wasn’t a physical struggle, but an emotional upheaval.   My desire and my husband’s desire was perfectly normal and honorable.  However, God had other plans.

Our desires became a matter of consistent and persistent prayer.  This is where I need to insert what I found in a devotional book entitled “Experiencing God,” by Henry and Richard Blackaby.  It was life-changing, to say the least.

“The purpose of prayer is not to convince God to change your circumstances, but to prepare you to be involved in God’s activity.  Prayer is designed to adjust you to God’s will, not to adjust God to your will.”

Even the assignment from God to His Son Jesus was to “die on a cross for the sins of the world.”  The verse below records Jesus’ conversation  with His Father about what He would endure on the cross. 

Jesus even asked His Father in prayer in Luke 22:42-44 “Father, if You be willing, remove this cup (this crucifixion) from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.”

So Jesus leaves us a “pattern” for our requests to the Father…..yielding our will to His.

And a critical truth from Scripture is this:  when we pray and ask for anything in “Jesus’ name,” we need to bear in mind that……

“Jesus was not saying that whatever Christians ask for, they will get.  Believers must ask in Jesus’ name.  The purpose of prayer is that the Father may be glorified—these are the prayers that get answered.  As James 4:15 says, “Christians must learn to say, “If the Lord wills.”  David Jeremiah study Bible commentary on John 14:13

He loves us beyond measure, but He alone knows best in every circumstance we’ll ever face.   As we get to know Him through our own life’s journey, many times we’ll see God’s wisdom; and yet we may not be able to comprehend why things happen as they do.  Oh how often are we reminded that we are mortal, human beings…..we are not God.

Let me get to the heart of the matter, our desire for children.  We were married a few years and this desire began to grow in large and personal proportions.  We prayed and waited.  The waiting continued for about seven years.

I can remember a discussion my husband and I had about perhaps adopting a baby or young child.   He wasn’t on board with me on this suggestion.  It wasn’t that he opposed the idea, but he just felt no peace about it.

In my frustration I exercised my human intervention.  In other words I was attempting to get on board with Abraham’s wife Sarah, and manipulate another way of having a child.  I’m ashamed to admit this, but this story requires complete integrity in the “honesty department.”

I got on the internet and obtained an “adoption application.”   Here again, I need to share that I did this without the agreement of my husband.  

Yes, we can often try and “get what we want” through other means.   This is called “manipulation….at its finest.”    But, like all our decisions if carried out, will usher in consequences that we may have to live with for a long time.

I hid the application in my desk drawer.  One morning when I went up to our bedroom where my desk was located, I pulled out the application to begin completing the questionnaire.   Deep within I felt as though I was “sneaking around my husband’s wishes.”   To make matters even worse, I sensed I was trying to go behind God’s back (how ridiculous is that) and get what I wanted one way or another.

God is so merciful and kind…if we allow Him to be.  I felt such “conviction and uneasiness” deep within the crevices of my heart.  I knew I was trying to orchestrate this “wanting a baby desire” in my own way.  This was exactly the same tactic Sarah used in her life to obtain a child.   We can be so critical of her attempt to bring things to pass in her way and her time, rather than wait on God to do what He wants and has planned for our lives.

Isaiah 64:4  “Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, Who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him.”

WOW…..God acts on our behalf, if we wait for Him.

May I invite you to stop reading this story and ponder the above statement for your own life’s desire.   When I stop and take the time to meditate on this truth, it refreshes my heart and mind, and pulls me close to God’s heart to tell me that: 

God has the plans, purposes and timing of events in our lives.

Over and over I can reflect on some of my own decisions and realized that I took matters into my own hands, rather than choosing to wait and trust Him.   It’s never easy to wait on God, but it’s safer to wait and trust than to experience and live with the consequences of our not-so-wise choices.

Yes God is merciful, but oft times He allows lingering consequences to remind us to “get with His program” and not try and exercise our own will, over His.

Now I must script some critical circumstances that took place where God began to show me what He was “up to” in our lives and “family plans.”

In a quiet way one morning when I was reading His Word, this thought came filtering in my mind and heart.

I know you love children, but had you thought that everyone that comes to your front door is a child, sent by Me (God), for you to love?

Weeks later a couple came to stay in our home for a few days.  I had some discussion with the woman about my desire.  As these friends were exiting our home at the front door, she turned to me and said,

“I know you love children, but had you thought that everyone that comes to your front door is a child for you to love?

Here is another spot for you to stop reading…..and let those two comments marinate in your mind.   My friend was quoting what God had spoken to my heart weeks earlier.   Talk about a “confirmation” from God, this was in bold print.

There is one more event that needs to be included in this path of waiting.    I had one thought that perhaps there was something wrong with me physically that needed a physician’s attention.  So, I made an appointment with this medical doctor.   

Oddly enough my best friend’s mother-in-law was a nurse and was employed by this doctor.   A few days prior to my appointment, she phoned me and asked me to come for lunch.   My only contact with this lovely woman was at church and we had only said our hellos on Sunday.   We really didn’t know each other, but what a kind invitation.  I accepted her lunch offer and showed up bright as a button at her front door.   She was gracious and so welcoming.   We had a delightful lunch and rather than a dessert, she presented me with a very penetrating question that just about took my breath away.

The conversation proceeded in the direction of my upcoming appointment with the physician.   She was concerned for me and wanted to know the nature of my appointment.   I thought that odd, especially over lunch, but she would have been asking the same question when I arrived at the waiting room days later.

She had such a warm and understanding way about her, and I felt safe to share my concerns.   What I never expected was her response.   We often wish God would speak to us verbally.  Well, this lunch hour was His chosen spot, and with the chosen person to be very “direct and tender” with me.

To bring you into the scene, here were the discussion comments and questions for your observation.

This lovely and gracious older woman asked me why I was wanting to see a doctor.  I shared my concerns about the possibility that my body wasn’t able to house a baby and wondered if the physician could help me in some way.

This was her response:

“Dianne, is the Lord the lord of your life?  Is He really in charge?”

My response was “Yes, as best I know, He is in charge of my life.”

She asked one final question I shall never forget.   “Dianne, is He Lord of your womb?”

My mind, heart and will were “silenced.”  There was no need to say anything more.   God poignantly showed me that He Himself was in charge of all of me.  He could open or close my womb at His discretion and design. 

Another miracle took place in my heart.   It was a “heart surgery” that no one could accomplish but my Creator-God.   He assured me that even though His answer was “no”, it was a “no” with a positive slant.   The surgical heart transformation brought about a “new lens” in which God showed me that I was limiting my request.

For you see, I wanted a child that weighed about six pounds, eight ounces.  God began introducing me to hundreds of children, for me to love and pour into their lives.   As I chose to view everyone He brings to the front door of my life and in my circumstances as “someone God has sent for me to love,” I realize that everyone is a child.  We are all just different heights, sizes and ages.  Everyone needs to be loved…..because everyone is made in His image. 

This sign appeared in an optometrist’s office when I began the season of wearing glasses.  It’s priceless.

          Dear God:   I can see you much better with my new glasses!

It wasn’t my womb that needed corrected, it was my “eyes.”  God needed to alter my vision to see things from His perspective.  He has given us children, many children, they just aren’t from the womb of my body, but they are loved from my heart.

My prayer is that this “journey of waiting” will encourage you to turn to and trust the all-knowing, all-powerful Creator God who loves you more than you could possible know.  It’s now been many years ago that all this transpired and if you would ask me, “Would you still prefer God’s will, or your own?”   My resounding response would be HIS WILL!