THE GIFT OF OUR WORDS

The expression of our heart!

A picture is worth a thousand words, we’ve all heard that expression, haven’t we?  But what does that convey?  For me, it’s when we see something so lovely, so heart-warming, and so delightful that it moves our hearts beyond verbal expression.   We hear people respond and speak of events as “that’s beyond description,” or “I just can’t find the words.”

At the end of this past year I’d been thinking about “words;” the words we hear and the words we speak.   It’s such a simple collection of letters: W O R D S.   It’s not lengthy or difficult and carries with it only one syllable.    Our words can carry a tremendous weight in and of themselves.   They can bring joy, encouragement, and delight; but they can also transmit disappointment, discouragement, disillusionment, and destruction.

Words can be a “construction zone” or a “demolition site.”    The elements of speech that proceed from our mouths have the potential to deliver affirmation or devastating criticism.   It’s not just “what we say,” but “how we say it” that can bless and strengthen the heart of another, or demoralize them in a split second.

Words convey expression from our hearts.   There is one collection of words that may be seldom used, but words with a message that are tenderly and longingly sought after; and those are the words I LOVE YOU.  

I often hear people share that they have never heard those words from their parents.   They knew their parents loved and cared for them, but the parents found it difficult to let the words proceed from their lips to their children.   Often culture, background or how people are raised can squelch that loving expression.  

My heart has been considering the many people over my lifetime who have encouraged me, instructed me, corrected me, loved me, and stretched my character to grow and think about others ahead of myself.   People who have accepted me, just as I am (warts and all), and loved me beyond measure, seeing potential in me that I never comprehended in myself.  

God has used such a carrousel of delightful people to bless my life here on earth.   He has orchestrated a “lifetime array” of circumstances, and in this array, introduced a wide variety of people to love, learn from, and be mentored by.

At the end of last year, I wanted to express to a few precious friends how “grateful” I was that they had been part of my journey through time here on earth.   Their lives touched and enriched me in ways they probably never realized.   My heart and life has experienced such nourishment, enthusiasm, encouragement, correction and joy because of the many “ways and words” these people have shared and have made a profound impact upon my heart and life.

The last few weeks I’ve experienced encouraging comments from five friends that related to a few short responses I gave them in a text.  I was delighted to affirm each person, but was surprised with their “appreciative comments” on how I phrased my affirmation.  What an awakening to me again reminding me that how we “craft our comments and conversation” can  not only be helpful, but sometimes life-changing by giving others a fresh perspective.

Our lives do “impact and influence” others around us.  I was especially thinking of the impact of our words!  We can deposit positive and life-giving joy and encouragement to others, simply by not only “what we say,” but in “how we say it.”   And sometimes, by what we choose “not to say.”

For me, I struggle inside when I’m around “opinionated” people.  And I need to be careful here, because my own mouth and tongue can “motor” around on that highway expressing unsolicited opinions. 

You needn’t get your pen and paper out, but let me share how God addressed something ugly in me a few months ago.  In my reading this particular morning, He highlighted this Scripture verse:   Proverbs 29:11 RSV

“A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man quietly holds it back. ”RSV

“A fool utters all his mind:  but a wise man keeps it in till afterwards. KJV

“A fool lets it all hang out; a sage quietly mulls it over.”  Message

Oops, you might be saying, I’m not a fool.  Well, God seems to call a spade a spade.  Or on a clearer note, He calls sin ….. exactly what it is, sin.   Sometimes our words can be categorized as words that proceed from a foolish tongue.  

My eyes caught hold of the word fool.   I didn’t want to linger there, but God was kindly pointing out that there was a better way to handle people and circumstances in life.  There was a boomerang affect when I read the rest of the verse.   “…..but a wise man holds it back.”  Holds WHAT back? 

At first, perhaps like you, I wasn’t fond of the word “fool.”  God loves us “just as we are;” but He loves us too much to “leave us there.”    I wondered what a wise man holds back or refrains from.  Yes, part of that verse (in other Bible versions) uses the word anger.  But He’s not just referring to holding in the wrong kind of anger.   Anger is an emotion for sure, but anger most often is reflected in our WORDS and WAYS with others and towards others.

Here’s a verse that addresses the antidote for “holding back our words,” and I’ve memorized this verse to help me watchful with what I say. 

The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicket pours forth evil.”   Proverbs 15:28

If you’re convicted in any way here, may I ask you to get in line behind me on this one?  Let’s learn together.  What captured my thinking was this:  this applies to not only anger, but anything that’s “on your mind.”    It wasn’t long before the word “opinion” came into view.

So often if I have an opinion about something, I feel it needs to be “let out of its cage.”  After reading this Proverbs 29:11 verse, I looked at the bottom section of my Jeremiah Study Bible where there’s a further explanation of the meaning of certain verses.

As I mentioned earlier about my “discomfort” when I’m around opinionated people (who seldom see themselves this way); I was blown out of my socks when God’s arrow fell right on my turf.  I can be opinionated too.   Yes, it even hurts as I express this in writing for all the world to see, but it was true many times of me.  

So, I committed the verse to memory to help ward off the temptation of voicing what
“I think about a topic” without an invitation to do so.  My new trains of thought are to:

“Zippa da lippa.”   Or, engage mind before stepping onto the accelerator of my tongue.   Just because I have an opinion doesn’t mean it needs expression.  I’ve found that we “seldom, if ever, have all the facts about a matter, anyway.” 

Here’s what Dr. David Jeremiah has pointed out in the Jeremiah Study Bible on that verse:

“Many things are better left unsaid, and many opinions are better left unspoken, not only for the sake of others, but for the sake of one’s own well-being.”

So to wrap up our words……………. I’m choosing to continue to study “how to answer”…..and….. “how to not answer.”  How about you?   Our text book on this should be the Bible, not the dictionary.   Just in the book of Proverbs alone, there are numerous verses there to teach a willing student how to interact and connect with others in a “grace-filled” manner.  

 Jesus was a “Master communicator,” and He longs for His children to enlist as students in His “communication class.”   I’ve been in His class for a few years now; so if you feel uneasy in this area, I would love to have you join me, so I don’t feel that I’m the only one in this “Carefully Crafted Communication Class.”

If you’re not certain that God has a lot to say about this area of our “speech,” I have a 31 day challenge for you.  Since there are 31 chapters of Proverbs, there’s a chapter for every day of the month.  When you’re reading each chapter (slowly……) circle every word that appears that refers to speech, words, lips, tongue, etc.  You get what I mean. 

Perhaps you’ll be as shocked as I was.  But then again, how marvelous that God would want to not just challenge what we say and how we say it, He offers a “free education” so we’re more effective with His Word and ways with others. 

“The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds learning to his lips.”  Proverbs 16:23

Oh that our words and opinions be filled with expressions of encouragement, sound counsel, and filled with grace.   Will you join me in “cutting the kindling” so only goodness is ignited.

“Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.”  Proverbs 26:20

Before I “stop writing” (ha ha ha), let me share a moment I had while in my car with another driver on the highway of life.  I don’t recall the exact details, but suffice it to say that I made a poor judgement in a parking lot.  I was made painfully aware that my judgement wasn’t the best.  How do I know that?   The driver gave me a piece of his mind that he couldn’t afford to lose.  His words and hand gestures just about tore me to pieces.   Wouldn’t you know I was knee-deep in this “verbal response” school, and when this man’s words came bulldozing out of his mouth, I felt buried.    He got out of his car and headed towards me.   This gave me a moment to draw a quick breath of prayer and God brought to my mind Proverbs 15:1.  

I can only give credit to Jesus for literally filling my mind and heart with the words in that verse that I had memorized. Once he was within ear-shot of my voice, I found myself “apologizing” for my error in judgement.  Yes, you read the words correctly.  I apologized!   I told him I was in the wrong and so very sorry.

By now, I probably have your full attention, and you’re wondering how this turned out.  Right?!  My comment literally took him by shock and surprise.  He didn’t know whether to eat a banana or crawl back into his car.   Once he gained his “composure,” he gently said something like, “Oh, that’s okay.”  Then off we travelled in our separate directions.  I’ll never forget the power of God’s word in that automobile scenario.

Proverbs 15:1 “A soft word turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.”

Our words contribute to a “construction zone” or a “demolition site” in the lives of others.  Let’s be wise and positive in our speech, building others up and offering grace to them as God is building His character in them, as well as us.

Years ago, Ruth Bell Graham, wife of evangelist Billy Graham, saw a sign by the road:  “End of Construction—Thank you for your patience.”  Smiling, she remarked that she wanted those words on her gravestone.