A quote that bears listening to is this: “You show me your friends, and I will show you your future.” Mentors are friends who invest their love, time, and hearts into our lives.
Our human nature takes on the attributes and attitudes of the people we spend the most time with. Who we choose to follow will determine, to a large degree, the people we become. A similar truth applies to us as Christians. If we desire to be an effective, positive influence in our world, we need to be wise and discerning as to who we spend a great deal of time with.
What do positive and effective Christians look like anyway? Aren’t they just ordinary people who are “walking the walk, and talking the talk?” They are people, like you and me, who are living out their faith in the shoe leather of their lives, and seeking to do what’s necessary to know God and to be used by Him in practical and powerful ways.
Where do I begin to share the treasure of one of my long-time and loving friendship I had with Betty and her husband Frank? For my husband Peter, it was upon his arrival in Canada many years ago that Frank and Betty were the first to welcome him with their loving hospitality, and many meals and conversations. The entire family embraced my husband as a friend.
As a couple, my husband and I had only been married three weeks when we were invited to Christmas dinner in their home. This was my first introduction to this family who were originally from Australia. I recall vividly where we were seated at their long dining table. We were at the very end, and an appropriate location for what was about to transpire.
Being introduced to new people and a new country, I remained quite quiet as I adjusted to this new and what seemed like a “reserved group of friends.” I was soon to have a change of perspective.
The meal was delicious and the dessert was now arriving at each one’s place setting. It was Christmas pudding with custard in Betty’s fashionable style. Everything was beautifully presented. My personal challenge were the “raisins.” For some reason, they aren’t appreciated in my pallet. I thought to myself, “How am I going to eat all this? I know, I’ll take large bites and just swallow quickly.” On about my third attempt it seemed there was a problem with the swallowing technique I was employing. Something just wouldn’t go down my throat. After fondling this item in my mouth for a time, I made the executive decision to carefully arrange a serviette close to my mouth and relieve the pressure.
Need I mention that the conversation around the table was quiet and respectable in tone. When my eyes caught a glimpse of what I was endeavoring to swallow, I burst out in uncontrollable laughter. What I wasn’t informed about was what to expect what is commonly in the dessert. Betty had placed several silver charms throughout the Christmas pudding. I discovered I was attempting to swallow two horses and a covered wagon! Almost every Christmas thereafter, Betty and I would recall with laughter the episode of the “covered wagon”.
This enjoyment with this family began many years ago. Frank and Betty would vacation in many of our homes throughout the years. The common thread that enriched the love in our relationship was sharing together about our walk with the Lord, and the pleasure of good food. Whether it was just a scone and cup of tea, or a roast dinner, love and laughter always filled our conversations.
There are many wonderful qualities about Betty that I miss very much. She was more than just a friend to me. She had a quiet and gentle spirit about her, which was not only precious to the Lord, but life-giving to me. Betty never seemed jealous of anyone, but always found reason to express love and encouragement. This lovely lady was one of my “life mentors.”
Oddly enough she never realized she journeyed with me in that role; but her example in practical ways still displays itself when I’m preparing dinner for friends, “Remember, always use various colors of veggies on the dinner plate. And use a variety of plates in serving the food. Dinner rolls needn’t always go in a basket.” She’d smile when “dishing out” that practical advice.
The last five years of her life here on earth were most precious to me because the Lord gave us a lovely closeness of heart. We had moved from Calgary and were living a great distance from our first home.
It began with occasional phone conversations that progressed to a daily delight. In life, I’ve found that “listening” is a beautiful gift we can give to others. God beautifully designed us for relationships. It’s so wonderful to hear the words I love you from a friend. I think the one quality the Lord built and displayed in her life to me was that she spoke, shared, and lived in a way that nourished my heart to love and trust the Lord, regardless of what was going on in my life.
God “custom designed” each of us to love Him, know Him, and enjoy Him both now and forever. And most of all to “glorify Him” (or in my own words….to make God look good) as we live out His plans for our lives.
This lovely woman’s practical advice, sense of humor, and gentle approach toward others fashioned my own life’s goal…..which she demonstrated beautifully.
After people spend time with me, what do they think of Jesus Christ.
To me, the following quote from “My Utmost for His Highest” devotional sums up Betty’s life-example and love for our Lord.
“I am called to live in such a perfect relationship with God that my life produces a yearning for God in the lives of others, not admiration for myself.”
Reunion day is coming, and it will be a glorious experience to see the Lord Himself and share forever the love, joys, and laughter that is now filling my friend’s life.
This friend’s example of how to love people in practical ways just oozed from her life. Even her sendoff to be with the Lord was graced by the presence of her family. They gave their mother the “gift of their presence” and that gift, even though the time was difficult to experience, was, in a way “to walk her home…..into His presence.”
“Lord, thank you for your design of not only this woman, but other women who have served as mentors to me,” (and you know who you are). My mentors have blessed and encouraged my life through their loving example of how to live “transparently” before me. Each of their lives, uniquely displayed, blessed my walk with the Lord through their consistent expressions of the grace, gentleness, and patience of God.
How do we find a mentor? Sometimes wonderful role models are right in front of us and easily accessible, but we need to be on the lookout for them. How do we recognize them?
We might look in the rear view mirror of our living to start with. Who are two or three or more people that have positively impacted your life? Look for people that have been used by God to “shape you.” What lessons have they shown you that has helped shape your character? Who has taken an interest in you, either for a long time or a short season?
I feel another way to spot a quality mentor is to take a look around your life journey right now. Who are the women whose character and lifestyle produces a yearning for God in your life? I’m not speaking about perfection here, just “authenticity.” Whether she’s up close and personal in the same country or state in which you live, or perhaps she’s thousands of miles away. But her life still touches and teaches you to “walk with God…..and trust in Him.”
The world seems smaller than it did years ago through Skype, cell phones and texting, so we can still connect, regardless of the miles between friends. So relationships that mentor us can be informal and echoed through emails, cell towers, coffee shops, or a kitchen table.
Great mentors will stretch your thinking and move you forward in your walk with Christ. They may or may not be famous or well educated, but they’ll be people who are not afraid to live outside their “comfort zone” and share their struggles and successes because of what the Lord has done in their life.
Whoever you choose, their lives will strengthen and influence your walk and trust in the Lord.
Cups of Cold Water 